Rules For Dogs1. I will not play tug-of-war with Mom or Dad's underwear when they are on the toilet. 2. The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff. 3. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table. 4. I will not roll my toys behind the fridge. 5. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house. 6. I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it. 7. I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up. 8. I will not throw up in the car. 9. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc. 10. "Kitty box crunchies" are not food. 11. I will not eat any more socks and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing. 12. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar. 13. I will not wake Mommy up by sticking my cold, wet nose up her bottom end. 14. I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them. 15. I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am haemorrhaging. 16. When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside. 17. We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV. 18. I will not steal my Mom's underwear and dance all over the back yard with it. 19. The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps. 20. My head does not belong n the refrigerator. 21. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Dad's driver's license and car registration.
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